Hellew~~ Well plenty had happened. First of all, I went to Amie’s housewarming on the 9th and met Lionel, Amie’s Darling for the first time… heheheh. Amie, if you’re reading this, here is what I think of him : I found him very “straight”, what I mean by that is that he sees the world in his own way, but I’m sure he might be different with Amie. I also found him a bit corny and funny when he asked Siang to do the sportsman thing… Overall, I can see that he is a very sweet, nice, polite and well mannered person… Oh Amie… It is very obvious that he is SO in LOVE with u… I think you’ve got something real good going on ;)
Moving on to that same week, my dad went for chemotherapy, I thought chemo was usually laser based, instead the one that my dad had was drips, pretty interesting… well if u are wondering how’s my dad, he back to his normal self =).
Now let’s move on to work, well I’ve been going back to work since the 8th and it’s not too bad; I actually miss working… ~~sigh~~ them good ol’ working days. At work, I’ve gotten closer to some people like Rosie and I also have fun hanging out in the office when it’s almost time to leave. Actually, the person in charge of me doing my tasks, Rosie told me that if I did not come on the 8th itself, they would replace me!! Could you believe it?!? Replace KeL?!? ~HMPH!!!~~ The nerve of them, I have already decided to really quit my job. It’s not because of the replacement thingy, if that is what you think it is because they can never replace KeL, not that I’m blowing my own trumpet or anything but they just can’t and you will know why soon. 14th of June was the day I handed in my resignation, and when the manager of my department read my letter she just smiled… now what is that supposed to mean?!? Then on Friday, when I went to my officer’s desk to fill in my part timer sheet ( psst..my officer sits beside the big boss) she saw me and we had a brief conversation, it went like this :
BIG BOSS : Hi KeL
ME : Hi Boss ß I changed the name to.. Err… well you know why
BIG BOSS : (smiling) I got your letter and I already read it
ME : (nervously) ah… ok
BIG BOSS : But I don’t want to talk about it now
ME : (feeling relieved) oh ok
~ Then as I was about I to walk away
BIG BOSS : When do you start your second year?
ME : (in my head “oh crap!!!”) Err.. next year pulang, but after this I’ll be on
attachment for six months and I will not be coming to work.
BIG BOSS : So where will you be?
ME : Ummm… I’m not too sure because it’s up to the school to put us where
They wish and most of the choices that are given are mostly government
BIG BOSS : oh I see, I’m letting you go because I don’t want to kacau you study.
ME : (smiling) oh I see..
~ There was a pause and when I decided to walk away
BIG BOSS : Tapi
and work ok.
ME : (in my head “I knew it!!!) Oh okie then.. Thank you
BIG BOSS : Okie, thank you KeL.
ME : smiles and then I walked away
So now you see why they can’t replace me, its not that I’m not grateful for the job that I have but I don’t feel as if though they know what I go through. I like the part where I work alone in a safe and at times people come to ask me for documents, its just that they think that the volume that we are given are small, but its not, it’s a lot and it never ends. In the whole month of December last year, I worked my ass off to file all the overdue documents and when I left them to go back to the institution, everything went hancur!!! There were so many overdue documents!!! So yeah, the guy I work with, Azre… well, he’s a bit worried if I leave, there will be more pressure on him to complete filling. And if you are wondering when is my the last day at work… it will be on the 20th July, I think now I can let go. The last time I quit, it was the day before orientation at the institution began, and I guess it was a sudden change for me as I really enjoyed working at that time and I applied at the institution just to try my luck, and I got in. So I guess I was not ready to let go then, but now I am =)
Well, my results came out on the 21st and guess what?!? I FAILED!!!! Hahahah~~~ what luck eh?!? I decided not to continue on because I have no passion for studying… I bet some of you reading out there would say “Sayang jua, ia ani”. My decision for doing so is that if I am going to spend another year and what happen if I don’t make it through? So I think that this is the best path for me. I have my working experience and I can always take it elsewhere. 2 people had said that they want to cubit me because of my decision.
So on the 22nd I went to my boss to tell her I had failed and that I want to continue working with them. I plucked up all my courage and braveness just to do this. I’ll just pick up the key points in the whole conversation because she went round in circles.
ME : Hi Boss, I need to tell you something….
BIG BOSS : Hi KeL, Yes what is it?
ME : Ummm... I don’t think I’ll be continuing my 2nd year at the institution.
BIG BOSS : OH?? Why not?
ME : I failed my first year…
~ Big Boss then yaps away about some stuff and then…
BIG BOSS : What do you plan to do?
ME : Errr… I dunno… get a job maybe, I don’t have the passion for studying
BIG BOSS : Eeeeee… sayang u ani
BIG BOSS : Well at the moment I don’t have anything for you, maybe I can arrange
Where you can be half day in this department and the other half to
ME : (felling hopeless) oh I see..
~ I was feeling very devastated.
BIG BOSS : You think it over and you tell me what you want to do next; whether you
will continue on with us or go back to school..
So after that I went out lunch with the boys and I was really hopeless… it was like I had a really bad day!!! When I went to babu, I did not know what to eat… in the end I only had 2 roti kuning and cold water!!! That was how devastated I was… makan pun inda dapat!! If you know me, this is not normal. I told my sister that I’m not theirs to keep and her friend who used to work in the bank offered to talk to her, but I said no… tawar udah hati ku. My other sis then picked me up, I told her everything and we jalan-jalan for a bit and then she asked me “What’s wrong with you? Macam nada mood ja”. I then looked at her and said “How would you feel when you have already failed your first year and your boss then says she does not want you around?” she just kept quiet. Over the next few days I kept thinking what I should do and I decided to resign, who knows I might get a better job in another bank because of the experience I have.
The 28th was the day I dropped the bomb on my big boss… I will leave the bank for good. The thing was I was procrastinating the whole week from telling her, I then decided to just tell her. On that day, my big boss was not having a good day because… err… I don’t know why and I don’t care, janji ia kusut berabis. So I went up to her desk and this was how things went. I picked the most important and vital parts =D
ME : Hi Boss, I think I will still be resigning.
BIG BOSS : *looks up at me, sighs and signals me to sit down*
BIG BOSS : So what are you going to do?
ME : Ummm… take time off, figure things out and stuff.
BIG BOSS : You don’t have to actually terminate your contract you know.
ME : I know but I want to.
BIG BOSS : Maybe you can still continue just that you can come a couple hours for
that day and maybe once or twice in a week.
ME : Oh ok…
~ she then yaps away about how I have to reapply back if I still want to work there when I terminate my contract and stuff… she goes on about if I could help her find someone new and then before the conversation ends…
BIG BOSS : You really resigning kah?
ME : (with confidence) YES!!
BIG BOSS : (sighs) Ok I can’t stop you. Good luck in all you do.
ME : (smiling) Thank you
Now, how it feels like being rejected. I practically dangled myself in front of her with a big sign saying “TAKE ME!!!” and what did she do?!? Reject me!!... nah apa tah rasanya! COW!!!! And as for helping her find a replacement, I’m not going to do it… or else what is the bank’s HR for, right?!? And what happens if the person I recommend does not live up to how I work?!? They have to find someone new soon, before I leave. The other officers did beg me to stay but I will not. It goes to show that my big boss does not really know or care about her workers. I may be a part-timer and I have feelings, begging will not do. NOTHING will do. I would not go back because in my big boss eyes, I now know where I stand… and that is I’m just a really small, tiny fish which the big boss is most likely to ignore and chuck away! Yeah, I know I sound bitter, but try being in my shoes, I’m sure you would feel the same, no?
Well, talking about work and all, on the 30th, we had a buffet lunch at Rizqun for our half yearly thingy… I had loads of fun =) loads of laughing and teasing, it was fun. I don’t have pics yet coz it’s with one of my colleague who is now on leave. Will post it up when I get it ok =). And oh.. I watched transformers twice and I have never seen so much action in one movie ~whew~ errr… what else ah? I saw the bank guy I used to like yesterday when I gave him the reports =)… it’s been a while since I’ve seen him and he was quite surprised to see me =)… he still looks cute to me =) heheheh… I’m like all smiles now =) heheheh… if he reads this, I think he would know that I’m referring to him =) and oh, bank guy if you’re reading this… HI!!!! *waves* ^_^. I think that is it for today… bubyez… Muahz <33